51. One day I had one of my kindergartners come up to me and say, “Hey Ms. Minuto, are you from Tennessee?” I said, “Umm, no… why?” to which he replied with a big grin, “Because you’re the only ten I see!! I found this note on the floor after school one day. I hold up the stolen backpack and my teacher had the most dumbfounded look like I have never encountered someone that failed at life more than you. The entire class was also going ballistic trying to see who would win. Now normally I never raise my hand. Remember to visit a dermatologist once you've completed the quiz, and talk to them about your answers. As the kids were finishing up, they started to get bored and a little rambunctious. The teacher thought she was going to win this game but underestimated my teamwork with my classmates. My favorite teacher: One time in 6th grade we were at recess and while I was running to my friends, I just so happened to kick a HUGE rock (keep in mind, I was wearing flip-flops so it hurt like hell) and without thinking, I shouted at the top of my lungs “MOTHERFUCKER!” And with my god-awful luck, my math teacher was sitting at the bench right BESIDE ME. Except… they used the abbreviation. After I had bought the drink, I opened inside target, and it exploded EVERYWHERE. At the school where I taught previously, students would line up on the blacktop before the morning bell. The high school’s wrestling coach also taught geometry, and he was my teacher. If I wasn’t a complete fail then I’d be able to get my own bag properly. A phone call later, mom says yes, she was too tired from playing with her cat so she didn’t see the need for her to do her homework. I did this every quarter that year. !” Of course, I told the truth and said “M-m-my teacher t-t-t-taught me that word!” and she started ranting about how she was going to call the school and get that teacher yelled at. ~ Robert Brault ~ Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up … TruthBook’s staff searches the Internet to find compatible stories that fit with the Urantia Book teachings. So teacher takes a look at me, sees the book in my hands, then back to her desk obviously confused for a second. Gay teacher: So about a year ago we had to do a speech about something we were passionate about. (classroom that no one uses) and this weird supply French teacher comes up to us and says: you shouldn’t be sitting on this ground, it’s too cold and it’s bad for your ovaries. One of mine said “My dad fixes boobies!” I later asked the mom what dad did. They keep all of the dangerous chemicals back here.” The expression on his face went blank, and he very quickly went back into the classroom. When they go over and pull out the uniforms, the whole class is kind of side eyeing them. 2. Am I 100% polar bear? O very proudly replied “I wanna be a pornstar!” to which his best friend chimes in “cuz you gots to please the b—–s!” The kids died laughing and I just died. She told me both of them, I laid out about 20 on a tray and stuck it in the oven, setting the timer before I walked out of the kitchen. Another time we had been talking about healthy eating and our bodies and one boy raised his hand and said, “If you look at your arms you can see the VINES inside your body.”, One moment happened several years ago when I taught grade one. 20. I laugh about this every time I think about it! 42. ""Of course, son, you're 100% polar bear. Panic! So, his mom took him to the doctor’s office, where the doctor took one look and told her to take him to the ER. I offered to get it dry cleaned, but they said “No. Because the teachers don’t use their real names on the boards (or often, any names at all), I haven’t been able to give credit to the contributors. Out of the corner I could see my 6th grade teacher give my computer studies teacher 10 dollars. I had a change of heart. As I put him in the car, he protested because he wanted to play some more. How are we going to seat five! Our school was 3 buildings put together, and the pick up was at the “blue” building but my classroom was at the “red” building, so they put a sign over my neck that said “I don’t speak English and I’m going to the blue building” and sent me away to follow a crowd of other kids. Anyway, right as she said that she turned her head and he was RIGHT BEHIND US (this is so so very cliché but I swear to god there he was). Lies are enemies. (Miss the kids,btw) We were all having our lunch break and the kids were eating then suddenly we could hear the sound of water dripping. And that is why my parents can never take my cooking seriously. I watched as people passed the mess and made looks of disgust. I was really excited since I LOVE PRINGLES. It’s where we talk about China and I make rice for the students and give them chopsticks. Later that day, I was walking with my mom, when I tripped and hit my leg on the ground really hard. Lying seems to be a way of life for many people. So I started playing and just my luck I didn’t check how high my volume was….IT WAS ALL THE WAY UP. But … Just the Truth - Hypocrites Jokes. : My best friend and I are super weird, and whenever either of us see an attractive person we tend to take a picture of them and send it to each other, because why not? Advertisement. The principal and I were quite aquatinted at this point and so I told her why I was sent back to her office again, and she laughed. In the closet: OK, so one time when I was really little I had a best friend who was kinda strange but so my mom got a call one day asking if she was over at my house because they couldn’t find her and so they call again about two hours later to ask if we could help look for her and so about three hours of looking we had basically covered the entire neighborhood and they were about to call the police and we decided to check their house one more time and my mom went into her room and found her completely naked and sleeping on the top of a super tall shelf in her closet. Cringey! One of my students turned to me and exclaimed, “You called us people?!!? By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. I forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. He couldn’t look me in the eye for the rest of the year. But, please know I really appreciate the time you all take to post. So many hysterical stories! Virtual-reality self-prostitution: I used to play a game called Phantasy Star Universe and I would be my own pimp AND my own hoe. 43. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. The fake report card: I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. The ramen incident: I have decided to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the foolishness. Eighth grade games: So when I was in the eighth grade, science class was the most boring hours of my life. As it turns out, I am gay: When I was around 9 years old I was starting to get confused about my sexuality so I would always look up “Are You Gay” quizzes on our family computer because I was scared and confused, and my mom eventually saw the searches in the history and confronted me about it. 14. But the teacher didn’t know I was out. Whatever story comes to mind first, hold on to it. via: Twitter. –Angela]. ], and would pull students out of classrooms to work with me. She’ll do it another time. I was trying to teach the children how to share information without talking. When it was almost time to get my chicken nuggets, I walked into a cinnamon scented kitchen. Three ladies walked into a bar. Drama at my drama class: One time my drama class’s teacher had gone home sick so we were just put in a classroom with a movie to entertain us for the period when an alarm went off. : I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report … You will find heartwarming, funny, loving, motivational, and uplifting stories. and even then my teacher was confused thinking I had just come up with the problem but no. Talk about 2 in 1 ! He approached her and asked the grandmotherly, elderly woman, "Mrs. Jamison, do After a couple of minutes of searching, I couldn’t find the movie since I didn’t know the exact title, so I logged into my YouTube account and decided to find it in my history. Every time a child told the truth, a brick was created for the palace of truth. 54. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. He is still my favorite teacher I’ve ever had. College & University, Friends, Funny, Germany, Schoolmates | Learning | December 26, 2020 I am a Goth and therefore I always have my hair dyed black. Oh—semen: When I was in high school, I was pretty quiet around people who weren’t my friends. Well, I have this little boy that is Veitnamese. This table is made for six! I never got in trouble for it because my whole class found it too funny to tell the teacher it was me. My principal wrote on the back of my hands, L and R. What I didn’t realize was that she wrote L on my right hand and R on my left hand. The little punk ran down the hallway, and into a professors office. In the end she agreed to let me read my own books as long as I kept track of the actual book we were reading. The teacher was very flustered and laughing hysterically at this point and there was no more teaching going on. One of the questions was “Who developed the system of naming organisms?” or something like that. And everyone knows I like him. He then took me inside to what I thought was yell at me but he just couldn’t stop laughing and sent me back outside with a literal candy bar. My husband will usually take a few minutes to talk to them, also. Our teacher wanted us to watch a Chinese movie in that free time, and I just so happened to watch one recently on YouTube. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which filled the room in acrid smoke for several seconds. I teach third grade. Well I had a boy yell out, “Is that where ____ is from?”. so he calls my math teacher yada yada I get my backpack. So the teacher took my book away, I found my spot, read the part and passed it to the next person to start reading. Maybe. On one particular night I had woken up the sound of our doorbell ringing. Every year at the beginning of the school year, my husband comes in and I introduce him to my Kindergarten class. 2. A priest offered a lift to a Nun. Child S. asked me the all too common question “What is that?” I told her that it was a meter stick. *exacerbated* “Because we all have 2 pupils” (pointing to their eyes) “duh!”. I would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own accounts. “If a school is comprised of 9 classes and each class has 65 pupils in it, how many pupils are there in the school?”, “Well you times 65 by 9 because there are 9 classes. 50. (I forgot they were back there.) I never got to eat my Pringles: Okay, so this was in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Grin and groan at these funny court transcriptions, a corny cow joke, and humorous instructions for the assembly of just about anything, from The Old Farmer's Almanac. What’s Your Story? I emailed her to tell her the story and so that she would know if they were ever on the feminine product aisle and he asked for a crossword puzzle she would know what he meant. I had accidentally slapped someone in the face. My favorite came from child in my pre-first grade class. Anyway, right as she saw him she screamed “OH! ____, theeth mothquito biteth are a pain in the ath.” Before I could think, I said, “Christopher, what did you say?” And, he repeated it again! The story of undocumented immigrants in this country is not just about undocumented immigrants. At one point all the students were doing their assignments and on task. When we got back from kayaking I took my phone out only to find the bag was submerged in water. Which at 4 in the morning is fucking nerve wracking. When I entered the room, she was talking to two other girls: ‘I wonder what Ms. Ligia does in the bathroom?’ One of the girls replied: ‘Maybe she just goes in there when she needs some time off”. I hadn’t done it before because of medical reasons, but the teacher evidently forgot about it. One day, seven wrestlers come in yelling about new wrestling uniforms, and how excited they were. Mine happened at the beginning of this year. So I turned to my husband who was driving and said, “I guess I’m getting the silent treatment.” From the backseat we heard, “I don’t think they have that kind.”, I was teaching in a rural school district in a town of about 1200 people. The principal was so dumbfounded he just told her to think that over and if she still really wanted to take her out of my class the next day, he would do it. The spirits of truth would then take it and add it to the growing walls. Need help finding a dermatologist? Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. This table was mostly girls, who excitedly squealed about their love for “Frozen,” except for the one very shy and reserved boy seated at their table, who just so happened to be named Sven. I asked her how or why and she said that if children sit on cold ground their ovaries will freeze and that we won’t be able to have kids. Everyone would play games on their computers (we used computers to take notes) but would play them in a super sneaky manner (volume down, looking at the board so it looks like you’re taking notes, etc.). I fall silent and just look at my friend who’s still extremely upset and don’t know what to say because I had fucked up so badly. Ed policy. All glowed up: After the final bell, my friend and I were walking to our buses after school through a crowded hallway. How to win at video games: When I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to Club Penguin, except it was called Nicktropolis. So I open my camera, take a picture- and guess what? I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard: My whole class once got detention because I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard and when the teacher went to wipe off the board all the fluff came off and stuck to the glue. (At this point it was just to mess with my teacher.). As founder of Due Season Press and Educational Services, she has created printable curriculum resources, online courses, 5 books, the Truth for Teachers podcast, and the 40 Hour Teacher Workweek Club. He took it out and passed it over without hesitation. First phone accident: When I was in the 6th grade my parents decided I should get my first cell phone because I was going to middle school now and things were different. Take the quiz to see if your symptoms may be HS—a chronic inflammatory skin condition that may be linked to the immune system. One child said, “It’s when you sing in church.”, Oh, I have thousands of funny storied but some of them only make some sense in my own language (Portuguese)…I´ll share some that would make sense anywhere in the world, though. I swear to God he levitated: I have a friend who I’ve known since I was very little. She said, “Yes, the reason I know so much about them is because my daddy is FULL BLOODED REDNECK!”. I could hear it over my music but ignored it. Now when we stand up for the pledge, he moves all the way to the back of the room away from me…. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. Truth: My opposite is not here. Finally, came the students favorite part of the day- snack time. My younger brother Eric asks if he can take off his pants too and Ethan says yeah, just make sure you have clean underwear on. As a freshman and quite socially inept I decide not to really do anything about it until lunch which was next block. I finally got my first graders on target one afternoon and was really quite happy with how the math lesson was going. last night, I became hungry and decided to make some ramen. Now that’s what I call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. I stepped inside a pothole in my neighbor’s lawn and completely fell in mud but I got right back up and kept running, muddy as hell, trying to get to my house while my sister was dying from laughter behind me. So I raised my hand and everyone was obviously shocked to see my hand up in the air so the teacher said “yes?”, and after confirming the fact that she picked me I said. The kids were eating Pringles. My teacher and everyone else started laughing and I got so red afterwards. We were in my garage spray painting the tubes and these two guys come marching up to the house across the street and start yelling at the top of their lungs, beating on the door. 25. Now my teacher adored Seth so he gets called on and you know what his answer was?? Send it home in a garbage bag!”. I call the teacher, she tries to find them but she can’t either. They caught me through this video where these guys at the party were singing Beyoncé while I was in the background with a can of tuna. Truthbook invites you to share these stories with others. The toilet phase: When I was younger, around 3 or 4 years old, I had a phase of flushing things down the toilet. The guy proceeds to slowly rub the lotion on his face as the whole class watches him in confusion. “The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and … It’s a good memory. After church they were like “do you wanna learn how to ride them?” And I was like??? I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to add water. In the last 6 months, have these bumps reappeared 3 or more times? 55. 30. In the early 1900s George Riddell acquired the sensational London newspaper The News of the World. I sneakily went through her drawer and grabbed the first thing I could find – a thong (I didn’t know what it was at the time). Building two palaces ; a palace of truth, and talk to your dermatologist your! S older brother at school as a freshman safe jokes and stories: funny stuff kids say in car. Fixes boobies! ” because they sound so implausible will disappear forever ” and cooked it two! America I was reading, he replied roll down his window and it would be a little, & whip. These kids crowded at the very least, but also to listen to the microwave one week we “... Make me cry and sent me to figure out she was talking about what their dads for. M sat next to me finally brought in a car full of my phone and never needed a.... 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